This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now.**

It’s not Lafayette!!! It’s not Lafayette!!! Once more it’s not Lafayette!!! I repeat Lafayette is not dead…yet. Yeaaaaa! After making us sweat and cry and mourn the death of our loved one Lafayette we find it was not his red toes in the car, but those of Ms. Jeanette. Ms. Jeanette of the traveling voodoo van. She will be missed by us all, or basically by Tara’s mother, Lettie.

Hell, where do I start? The episode was called,Nothhing But the Blood. After I sat back down from doing the happy dance, we discover that someone has not only killed Ms. Jeanette but pulled her heart out. Two guesses as to whom? Her name rhymes with Candy Land. How about the professor and … and… and. You get where I’m going, right?

Bill the vampire is green. Goob job Bill, he recycles and everything. And if you really think about it, he must save so much more on electricity. Good for him. Bill is also trying to teach his new charge rules and how not dress like a wench. He actually said slather or something close to that, but I like my word better. I have to say it, I like Jessica! She is going to bring some funny to the unfunny Bill. Jessica also looks like she might cause some trouble for Sookie and Bill’s relationship. Excellent! We also catch up with Stupid Hot aka, Jason, getting more and more involved in the cult, Fellowship of the Sun. He wasn’t naked enough this episode, but here’s hoping that would be cured soon.

Ok, get me a crowbar, some rope, dynamite or a blowtorch, something we need to rescue Lafayette from his captors. Alan Ball pulled off the fast one of the TV watching century! Ball basically turned the second book on its ear, which since it spares Lafayette makes me happy. Not only has Lafayette been in the dungeon for days, but he gets a new annoying roommate. Yup, it’s the redneck dude Lafayette beat up last season. After Tara tells the police about Ms. Jeanette and they think she’s nuts, her less crazy, less drunk mom shows up and Maryann decides to go off on poor Lettie for being a bad mom. Which she is, but I still don’t like Maryann that much and I am looking forward to her real intentions being revealed.

I don’t know if you guys remember this, but last season Sookie started to get on my nerves. Well, that didn’t stop last night, she still gets on my nerves. First she got angry at Bill for turning Jessica. I think she forgot he was being punished for killing Longwhatshisface for her. Then she got her panties all in a bunch because Bill killed old Uncle Child Molester. Uncle Bartlett left Sookie all his money. Was that payment in full? Can I just say ewwww on that? Anyway she gave the money to Stupid Hot, which he took as a sign to go even deeper into the vampire hating cult.

I really enjoyed getting some background on Sam and Maryann. Did anyone else feel really bad for him, when he saw Tara kissing Eggs? Can we get someone on the show to date Sam pronto? At first I was groaning at the cheese that was Bill’s confession of his love for Sookie, but I was really shocked at how hotly that shit ended. That was a smoking ass love scene I must say.

I almost forgot, we find out its actually Eric holding Lafayette and the redneck dude. Eric emerged from upstairs, where apparently he was getting his roots done. He put a serious beat down on the redneck, literally tearing his arms out the sockets and beating him with them. Overall this was an awesome way to kick off the season. I would have liked to see some more naked Jason, but you can’t have it all. I would give it a 8.5/10 if I were rating it. Thoughts, groans and moans? Theories.

I will leave you guys with these questions for next week’s episode:
Will Eric add some lowlights to his color?
Who actually killed Ms. Jeanette? Maryann (my theory), the Fellowship church or the vamps?
How long before Jason sleeps with the preacher’s wife?
Will Tara sleep with Eggs?
And most importantly will Eric turn Lafayette?

http://www.horrorfatale.com/

HBO’s True Blood in my opinion has great potential to be a good show. Last night’s pilot episode, was called, Strange Love. The episode basically introduces us to the rag-tag bunch of characters who make up the Louisiana Parish, and gives us enough background to suck us all in. No pun intended.

From the opening scene we learn some important background information, Vampires now live among us. And we learn they are having a civil right movement of sorts for fair treatment and so on. We are then introduced to Sookie Stackhouse, played by Ana Paquin at her waitress job at the bar Marlottes. We are quickly shown that she is telepathic and most people in her town think she’s psychic or put rudely by one of bar’s patron retarded. We are also introduced to her best friend, Tara, who is very angry about something but, what we have no idea. Note to the writers you have to tone that character down, Tara was over the top with the uncalled for anger. She got on my nerves and I don’t think I’m alone in that.

Then, we meet Sam the owner of Marlotte’s and who is clearly in love with Sookie. We get some more introductions to some colorful characters which include a gay dude named Lafayette. Who hands down is the most entertaining person on the show, I might add. But, I can be a total hag, so it’s not shocking I thought that. We also meet Sookie’s stupid brother, Jason, in a very graphical sexual way. And since he’s a half a shade of hot it’s not a bad way to introduce the character. But, I digress.

The biggest introduction of the episode comes when we meet, Bill the Vampire. There was the Casablancain of all the bars of the world; he had to walk into mine scene. Sookie is beside herself with glee that a vampire finally showed up in their parish. Yippee, synthetic blood for everyone! We then learn that two of the bars patrons, are also happy to see Bill. More on that later, back to stupid brother hot Jason. We learn via vampire porn, that the practices of bloodletting or fang-banging (how colorful) still go on in this new society. Jason proceeds to have intercourse with, Maudette. Maudette’s a woman who has taken part in bloodletting and the scene ends with what looked to be erotic strangulation from Jason.

Now, back to those bar patron’s they have taken an interest in Bill, sinister in nature. Apparently, you can make money from vampire blood, because if a mortal drinks it, they get what seems to be a high from it. Can I add an eww to that, by the way? Sookie manages to save Bill from bloodletting and piss off the two patrons. Of, course she does. They leave shouting we will get revenge on you Sookie or something similar with swear words. We get some vampire folklore involving silver, making vampire flesh burn on contact. That’s not new; the movie Blade used that one already, but nice try, guys. A couple of more useless scenes go by and we learn the Maudette has been found strangled in her house, and guess who’s suspect number one? Easy right? We end the episode with the scorned vampire bloodletting patrons putting a beatdown on Sookie.

Basically, this show didn’t just knock me over. I think I had high expectations, being that it comes from Alan Ball, who produced the amazing Six Feet Under. I won’t keep harping on the bad accents; you know they were bad if you watched you heard them. So, that’s a nonissue. I left a lot of details out, so not to completely ruin it for you guys. But, as pilot episodes goes, this one feels a little flat, but it did its job of introductions and future storyline set ups. So, that’s a plus. The problem is it just lacked any bite, pun totally intended. I would give it a 6/10, if I were rating it. Will I watch next week’s episode? Of course. Will you guys? Thoughts anyone?

I leave you guys with these questions for next weeks episode:
Did Jason kill Maudette, or did some rogue vampire finish her off?
Will Bill vamp Sookie?
And, more importantly is the mysterious dog Sam?

http://www.horrorfatale.com/