This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
“I’m a fucking fairy. How lame is that,” says Sookie. Yes, Sookie you are lame, but just in general not for being a fairy. Just saying, anyway, I digress, we have a lot of boring territory to cover in this recap, so tuck in fellas, it’s going to a semi-bumpy ride.
As you might have guessed already Bill sans tracksuit informed Sookie that she is part fairy. This explains why every vampire lusts for her like she is a Double-Double with cheese no pickles, no onions, sorry hungry at the moment. But, you get the idea, her blood is tasty. This makes Sookie ask Elvis if this is the reason he loves her so much. To that, Bill declares his undying or better yet unliving love for Priscilla. Thank you, thank you very much, he then threw a scarf into the audience, put his cape on and walked off stage. (Sorry it had to happen.)
I guess Stupid Hot is a serial killer now, he killed Frankly, Eggs (we got flashbacks to prove it) and he aided and abided the murder/kidnapping of a vampire in the first season. Good for you Stupid Hot! Instead of scooping Frankly into a jar and selling that shit and making millions, Tara and Jason decide to hide the body. Dumbasses! I guess tank tops and jean shorts don’t cost that much anyway, so never mind.
We find out back in 2003 Sam was a thief who wore bad suits and didn’t wash his hair. Seriously, did y’all see that shit? But, most importantly, Sam’s girlie friend pulled a fast one on him, she robbed him, of all the jewels and cash he had robbed someone else of. Long story short he offed both their asses when he went to rerob them. Meanwhile Eric is getting his death in order to leave all his money and shit to Pam, who is pacing behind him making me nervous because she’s personally can’t believe Eric hasn’t turned Sookie over to Russell and got them free from all this trouble.
Lovely Lafayette and Jesus saved Deliverceina’s father from his impending doom, by giving him some v, which of course brought him around. To thank them he called them fags (his word, not mine EVER), slapped his daughter/sister, and stomped off into the woods. They should have let him to die, that’s what you two get for playing Captain Save A Ho! Eric shows up to tell Sookie once more that she should not trust Bill. Bill once again protested, and then he pulled out a gun and shot the TV. (Ok, didn’t happen, but there is a whole room at Graceland that holds all the TV’s Elvis really did shoot.)
Anyone else really over Arlene’s little shtick, who cares shut up, go away! She hates vampires. We get it. Shut up! Everyone is afraid of Sam and Holly is a Wiccan. Jesus decides he wants to have Ecstasy sex. Not E, but V actually. This of course takes us back to 1996; I swear those two were down a K-hole (if you weren’t a weird little wanna be gother in the day look that shit up). I’m telling you people way too much about my college years aren’t I? Anyway, down the V-Hole they go. Voodoo and Santeria folks that what we got from Lafayette and Jesus. Apparently, these two are connected through the black magic of their ancestors or something. Don’t know, love the two of them so whatever.
So much for Bill being able to give Sookie a fried banana sandwich and call it a day, because Priscilla jumped in Elvis’s nearest unprotected pink Cadillac and gunned it for Fangtasia. “Why shouldn’t I trust Bill, what do you know Viking,” she bellowed. To which Eric responded. “You want to fuck me, don’t you?” Ok, that last part didn’t happen either, but Pam convinces him to at least consider turning her fairy ass over to Russell.
Aww, this brings us to sad ole King Russell. He’s still walking around with his crown all sideways, and robes all tattered, carrying the jarred goo that once was Talbot. Sads. Not really because King bought him some ass from what can only be described as meth alley. If you were tucking in for some hot King/Whore sex, just settle down, because the only thing Talbot 2.0 did was die, while King stakes him and confesses his undying love for the late Talbs, you know closure is always important. Back at the Trailer de Stackhouse, Jason rescinds his invite to Bill, and walks into a bedroom and finds Deliverceina is a panther/shifter. STILL don’t care, but whatever.
Back at Fangtasia after much prompting from Pam, Eric scoops Sookie up and puts her in the dungeon previously occupied by Lafayette last season. Isn’t that the sex dungeon? Good for you girl! Overall, a really unexciting episode considering we only have two more, I think we got some big reveals but they kind of fell flat in their delivery. I would give the episode a 6/10 if I were rating it. Thoughts, groans, moans, theories, E? Kidding I’m too old for that foolishness now.
2 comments
Ruth says:
August 23, 2010 at 3:12 pm (UTC -6)
I actually thought the ep was ok. Jason is still not hot but I do feel bad for the boy. He is kind of lost. We all know he isn’t ever going to be smart but he had a hot body, a nice disposition and he could defend the girl folk. Now though he goes and follows Sookies advice (and since when his her life so great Jason?) and tells Tara he shot Eggs over Easy and now she’s all pissy. Which is ok with me as I don’t like her again anyway. And Sook of course leaves while Jason is supposed to be protecting her per Bills orders. I’m so glad Jason took back his invite. Bill I’m going to say it out loud. We all know you were researching Sookie for Queen Sophie so grow a pair of your own and tell her already. The only thing Sookie was right about this week was that the truth will always come out.
Sam, SAM. I didn’t see it coming but you know hon, you had to survive and I still love you. Now you’re just a tad more interesting.
Eric’s kiss with Sookie? Hot. I mean to say that man could make kissing broccoli hot. But I don’t think giving Sookie to Krazy King will help. He’s way off the deep end now. But I do think Eric is going to drink from Sookie and try this daylight walking thing Bill spoke of. Maybe to kill Russell in the early morning dew?
I am tired of Arlene too! Seriously shut the F*&% up. Please. Your bigoted (which is the way Arlene ended up in the book too) and stupid and I wish Jessica had bitten your sorry butt. Tought you a few manners maybe. I think if Holly helps Arlene get rid of Rene’s baby Terry will leave. I think he already loves it and besides he is WAY too good for that skinny b*tch and her bad dye job.
Hoyt smaked the hell outta puppy. You go boy! It’s about time! And puppy turning into a pitbull was just not playing fair and for your trouble you got to see Jessica and Hoyt being all sexy and caring. You missed the mark pups. I can promise you that if you hurt a man a woman loves you are pretty much guaranteeing she goes running to protect and help him.
Eric and Sookie kissed. Yeah I know I said it before but it was really, really hot and he was so playing the I’m sad and going to the final death card. Pfttt like we all haven’t heard that one before. And I don’t blame Pam for being upset with him. But instead of him choosing Sookie over her it’s more like he’s choosing Sookie over himself imo but again I don’t think it will much matter to the King now anyway. However now that Eric has decided to actually try and think of a plan, Sookie did get that pretty new necklace in the sex dungeon (I’m pretending poor Layfayette didn’t do time there himself) Next week should be really interesting when Lameo Bill attempts to come to Sookies rescue.
Almost forgot Lala and Jesus! Loved their little roller coaster of V ride. Pretty interesting but I already figured Lala was some type of witch, I just wasn’t sure about Jesus. One final question and I’m off…why in the crap are these people not changing their bloody clothes?
The HorrorFatale says:
August 23, 2010 at 3:27 pm (UTC -6)
I completely forgot about Little Puppy attacking Hoyt, he should have attacked Arlene instead. And what was up with Hoyt’s little girlfriend, “I know you’re sexual.” So she pulls out a boob, who does that? What was she is the 9th grade, Hoyt’s what 30? Long gone are the days when he would get excited about copping a feel. Fail girl!
And last night was definitely the night of the blood splatter. Washers all over town were on the fritz perhaps.